


Raphael's Hope

by SaotomeSakura



Series: Raphael's Hope, Crowley's Family [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of the World, Family, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22057450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaotomeSakura/pseuds/SaotomeSakura
Summary: Where is Raphael? Where is the too caring, God's favorite angel? He was alone up in Space, creating new Stars and planets, and then he wasn't. Nobody saw him since the war. God's only answer to other archangels was that he was working. Nobody questioned it, cause God's plan is ineffable.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Gabriel (Good Omens), Gabriel & Satan | Lucifer (Good Omens)
Series: Raphael's Hope, Crowley's Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044798
Comments: 4
Kudos: 116





	Raphael's Hope

Raphael pushed the star in front of him a bit, as it was in his opinion too far to the left. When he was satisfied, he flew back so he could admire his work and grinned. It might not be as grand as a nebula, but he liked making new stars, and he made this one so bright it looked blue.

“Having fun?” he heard a voice and quickly spun around.

Behind him was God, smiling softly at him.

“Ah, yeah, I like making stars,” Raphael grinned.

“Only stars?” God asked teasingly.

Raphael shook his head, “You know well that not only stars. I like to create various things, like planets, and their flora, like on the new one, Earth… And… maybe I could even try to make some animal? I quite like the nope rope Lucifer made…”

“Nope… rope?” God blinked confused.

“You know… like those I have on my staff,” Raphael scratched the back of his head.

And then she laughed wholeheartedly with laugh that vibrated the space around them.

Raphael grinned in embarrassment. He only saw the animal once, when Lucifer was showing it off to his friends, and he didn’t have a name for it yet, so Raphael made one up. It was quite a time ago, that he saw the other angels, and he was missing them. Lately he, was always sent up into the space to work mostly on stars and nebulas, and only got to see others when they hurt themselves and he got to heal them. That’s why he hoped, that God would allow him to go make some animals on Earth.

“Lucifer called it snake, my dear Raphael,” God said after she stopped laughing, but then she turned serious, “Speaking of Lucifer...”

Raphael groaned; he knew what an asshole Lucifer could be. He loved his brother, but every time he saw him, he did something weird, like talk about how they should be able to do whatever they wanted, as they were powerful enough not to need constant nagging from God. And with his charisma he got quite a bit of friends among Principalities and Angels. But from Archangels, Raphael was the only one, who would talk to Lucifer like normal. Gabriel especially got really miffy when Lucifer was mentioned.

“What did he do now and how bad his fight with Gabriel was?” Raphael asked concerned.

God smiled sadly at Raphael’s worry, “They got physical with each other. They had drawn blood, and it ended up with Lucifer having broken wings and Gabriel broken nose and almost lost an ear.”

Raphael’s eyes widened, that was new. Sure Gabriel and Lucifer got into small scuffles, but they have never drawn blood, nor broke anything. The only blood Raphael saw, was caused by work accidents.

“I have to go heal them!” he immediately took of towards Heaven’s Gate, but God grabbed his wrist and stopped him.

“Raphael no,” God said softly.

“What do you mean no?!” Raphael spun to look at God, “My brothers are hurt and I want to help them!”

“I know dear, but it’s not necessary they were already treated,” God said, “I can’t let you go there, you would only yell at them.”

“Of course I would yell at them, they are being assholes to each other, for no freaking reason!” Raphael snapped angrily and then stopped, realizing something, “Wait, what do you mean you can’t let me go there? Like… never?! Is that how it will be? I can’t never return? Am I to stay among these stars… forever?!”

God tilted her head to side, “Do you not like your work?”

“No no no, of course I love it,” Raphael quickly protested, still frustrated, but tried to push it away, as he knew that God was frustrated herself with Lucifer and his friends, and didn’t want to anger her even more.

“But?” God pressed.

Raphael shook his head and turned away, his shoulder slumping, “Nothing, I am sorry I snapped…”

God put a finger under his chin and turned him to face her, “Raphael, you can tell me what’s wrong, I promise I won’t be angry.”

Raphael sucked in breath, “I just… look around. What do you see? Only stars, nebulas, asteroids, empty planets. There is nothing here, but myself… I guess I am a bit…”

“Lonely,” God finished for him and Raphael barely nodded.

She could see it. The loneliness, the frustration, the longing for companionship. But she also knew, that Raphael would try to be friendly to everyone and only cause more friction among the two faction that formed in Heaven and she didn’t want him to be caught in the middle of it. He would hate it and would try to help everyone even if it meant that he would make enemies from some angels.

“I know, my dear,” she said softly, “But I can’t let you go there, not now. You wouldn’t like it. You might hate me for what I am about to do.”

Raphael’s eyes widened, “What do you mean? What do you want to do?”

“I have to… deal with Lucifer,” God said sorrowful.

“Deal? What does that mean?” Raphael’s voice has risen.

God sighed, “He has become dangerous for anyone who disagrees with him. Today it was Gabriel, tomorrow he might kill someone.”

“HE WON’T!” Raphael called, “He wouldn’t do that! He must have hit his head, let me help him and he would be nicer to everyone!”

God shook her head, “You know Raphael, that it is only your wishful thinking. There is nothing wrong with Lucifer, he is just that way and I can’t let him hurt his fellow angels anymore.”

“What will you do with him?” Raphael asked barely audible.

“I have to throw him out of Heaven,” God said determined, “He doesn’t want my love, so he won’t get it. I will cast him and his followers out and they will become Demons.”

“Demons?” Raphael rolled that word on his tongue.

“Yes, they will be taking care of evil humans, their powers based of bad emotion, and bad acts,” God sighed.

“Please, reconsider, I can convince Lucifer…” Raphael pleaded again.

“Raphael,” God stopped him, “I have already decided. They are going to Fall.”

Raphael wanted to say something, but stopped. He knew if God decided on something, there was no changing her mind. Hopelessness seeped through him.

“But I have something I would like you to do,” God said.

“Like what? Make some more stars?” Raphael asked bitterly.

“No, on Earth,” God ignored the bitterness in Raphael’s voice.

Now that peaked Raphael’s interest, “On… Earth?”

“Yes, on Earth,” God nodded, “I want you go to there and join the Demons.”

“What? You want to throw me out of Heaven?” Raphael was confused.

God shook her head, “No, you get a choice, they don’t. I want you to go there and join them.”

“And do what?” Raphael frowned, still not understanding what did God want from him.

She was throwing them out, but wanted him there?

“Whatever you want,” said God.

Raphael blinked in confusion.

“I want you to just keep an eye on things,” God explained, “And you can do whatever you want. I trust your decisions.”

Raphael stared at her. He didn’t know what to do. The offer seemed enticing. He could go to Earth like he wanted, and do whatever he wanted. But on the other hand, he would become Demon, or would he? And he still didn’t know what God expected of him. It was all confusing.

God put her hands on Raphael’s cheeks and stroked them with her hands.

“Listen Raphael, IF you go to Earth, you cease to be an Angel. But you will not be a Demon either,” she said, “You will be stuck somewhere inbetween, not really belonging anywhere. You say you are lonely here, but there is a chance, that neither side could accept you.”

“So I will be alone whether I am here of there?” Raphael could feel his frustration return.

God stopped stroking Raphael’s cheeks, “I can see many futures. There are indeed some where only loneliness awaits you…”

“But there are some, where it is different?” Raphael asked hopefully.

Hope. God could feel waves of hope coming from her eldest. She smiled softly.

“Yes, Raphael, there are some, when you find what you are looking for,” she said, “It’s up to you, how you play with your assets.”

“I…” Raphael started, his voice cracking, “I want to go to Earth.”

“I know,” God kissed Raphael’s forehead.

“Will it hurt? The Fall I mean,” Raphael asked.

“You will not really Fall,” said God, “But yes. Both you and the others.”

Raphael could only nodded.

God lowered her hands from Raphael’s cheeks, ran them along his arms, until she got to his hands, took them into hers and squeezed them reassuringly. And then a strange aura spread from her hands, engulfing Raphael before subsiding, though he could still feel strange buzzing inside.

“Whenever you are ready,” said God, with sorrow in her voice, and Raphael could swear, that he could see tears in her eyes.

Raphael let go of her hands, before he launched himself forward, embracing God in tight hug.

“I will be fine, I promise,” he whispered.

“I am sorry about everything. That you have to clean up my mess,” she whispered back, “And I hope, you find whatever you are looking for.”

Raphael stepped back.

He grinned widely, “Of course I will. After all, I always get what I want.”

God chuckled; however tears were already streaming down her cheeks.

Then Raphael leaned backwards, made a step back, it almost seemed as if he was jumping from a cliff.

And then he was falling.

The buzzing inside Raphael made itself known again. It spready through his whole body, engulfing him in flames.

Raphael could feel the burning pain. It was overwhelming. He knew it was coming, but the magnitude still surprised him. All he could feel was pain pain pain. And he screamed.


End file.
